Do not under any circumstances read this book. It's the incredibly and extremely private story of Nigel Dorking. Put it down immediately. Do Not Read Beyond This Point. This is the Really Really Extremely Private Story of Nigel Dorking, Incredibly Smart for his IQ, Tall for His Height, and Precocious for His Age, but Perilously Unhappy.
PS Trespassers will be executed.
PPS Nigel Dorking is most definitely not a drip.
N igel Dorking
I s desperate to win his father back. And
G iven he's so smart, far smarter than his horrible stepmother the
E vil Babette, surely he won't end up
L osing Dad to his new family? If only
D ad hadn't fallen for her and totally ruined their lives.
O bviously having a spastic and
R eally retarded brother like Ivan hasn't helped, as they tend not to impress fathers.
K nowledge, however, Nigel is certain, will impress Dad.
I f he can amaze and dazzle Dad with his interesting facts, Maybe then
N igel's Dad will come home, and then he, Nigel, will have achieved his holy
G rail.
This is a highly entertaining, semi-comic story about a boy's quest for the holy grail of paternal love which will appeal especially to a 9-11 audience.
Nigel Dorking's parents are divorced, and his father has remarried and has two step-daughters. Nigel is a lonely, precocious child who idolises his absent father and longs to have more to do with him, but he has a bed-wetting problem and is anxious to hide the fact from his dad. That's not his only problem though: his mother is about to marry a man Nigel detests, a large, loud Scottish man called Gordon. Things are further complicated by Ivan, Nigel's little brother, who is profoundly disabled and utterly dependent. Gradually, Nigel comes to realise that his father, the man he hero-worships, is a failure as a father, and it is Gordon who deserves his affection and trust.
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